Words of wisdom | number 7: Chicago

I’ve made a lot of mistake. A lot of mistakes. Where to even begin? I’ve gotten in trouble with the law. Made terrible financial decisions. I’ve ignored the advice of wise men and rushed in like a fool. Put myself in dangerous or life-threatening situations. I’ve said mean or insensitive things to people. Sacrificed time, energy, even pieces of myself, when I should have known better. I’ve done things that I immediately regretted, and I’ve made decisions that were a great at the time with no forethought as to the consequences or what comes next… I’ve made so many mistakes. But honestly, who can say they’ve never done any of these things? Everyone makes mistakes – a flawless life there never was. And there are no do-overs. Each day is etched in stone, and we have to live with the choices we’ve made.

It’s easy to look back on your life and see, with crystal clarity, all of your biggest mistakes. They only accumulate, and the older you get, the more there are. But when you harbor regrets for those mistakes, those regrets become chains, binding you to your past. And the more regrets you hold, the heavier those chains become, the more they weigh you down. Hold too many and you become immobilized, unable to move forward with your life. Your past becomes an anchor – no longer a formative experience, but something that actually prevents you from growing further. You can struggle, but they hold you, heavy and unyielding.

We have to unshackle ourselves from our chains. We have to forgive ourselves for the mistakes we’ve made. They’re bound to happen, they come and they go. Because honestly, we’re all just figuring this out as we go – none of us have ever been as old as we are right now, or faced the exact set of circumstances we’re facing right now. To err is human, and it can always be forgiven – what’s important is that we learn from our mistakes. We have to find what we did right, and separate it from what we did wrong. And in committing that knowledge to memory, we grow and become better versions of ourselves.

The first thing you need to realize is that the mindset you had when you made those decisions, like it or not, is a part of your life’s story. And it’s fair enough to say that a decent amount of the time that mindset wasn’t even completely wrong… Many mistakes are made simply because we didn’t know any better. Others because we opted for the expedient, or the pleasurable, over the sensible (sometimes those are the best bad decisions if you know what I mean, but boy do they teach us when they go wrong). I think the worst are when we fail to hold on to our rational minds, and give in to our base instincts. But whatever the mistake was, and whatever the mindset when we made it – it is the ability to learn from it that allows us to close that naive, ignorant or irrational chapter, and start a new one. Fill that story with as many chapters as you can, and it will be a life well-lived.

So think about some of those regrets you still feel. Think about the times you messed up. Realize that they’re just a small part of your story. Take a second to appreciate the younger, more flawed version of you who made those mistakes – and a few more for the version who learned and grew from them. Then forgive yourself. Unshackle yourself from your own chains, and leave the past where it belongs – behind you.

Feel that? It’s freedom.

BCH

Sufjan Stevens – Chicago

↑(that’s a link; click it)

I fell in love again
All things go, all things go
Drove to Chicago
All things know, all things know

We sold our clothes to the state
I don’t mind, I don’t mind
I made a lot of mistakes
In my mind, in my mind

You came to take us
All things go, all things go
To recreate us
All things grow, all things grow

We had our mindset
All things know, all things know
You had to find it
All things go, all things go

I drove to New York
In a van, with my friend
We slept in parking lots
I don’t mind, I don’t mind

I was in love with the place
In my mind, in my mind
I made a lot of mistakes
In my mind, in my mind

You came to take us
All things go, all things go
To recreate us
All things grow, all things grow

We had our mindset
All things know, all things know
You had to find it
All things go, all things go

If I was crying
In the van, with my friend
It was for freedom
From myself and from the land

I made a lot of mistakes
I made a lot of mistakes
I made a lot of mistakes
I made a lot of mistakes

You came to take us
All things go, all things go
To recreate us
All things grow, all things grow

We had our mindset
All things know, all things know
You had to find it
All things go, all things go

You came to take us
All things go, all things go
To recreate us
All things grow, all things grow

We had our mindset (I made a lot of mistakes)
All things know, all things know (I made a lot of mistakes)

You had to find it (I made a lot of mistakes)
All things go, all things go (I made a lot of mistakes)

Songwriter: Sufjan Stevens

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Spotify playlists | This Must Be The Place

Summer is the most cherished time year where I’m from. It’s the time for barbecues and beaches, long days and late nights. Between intramural leagues, music festivals, fairs and the like, there’s no shortage of things to do outside. And even when there’s no activity of event underway, even just sitting out on a patio with a cold drink feels like the best thing in the world. It’s full of those moments when you feel the warm sun on your skin, breathe in the fresh air, and remember to be thankful to be alive, exactly where you are, doing exactly what you’re doing. In those magic moments, wherever they may be, it’s hard to imagine life getting any better. And you’ll think: “This must be the place.”

Here’s a playlist for those times.

BCH

Spotify playlist: This Must Be The Place

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Meditations | 5.4

I travel on by nature’s path until I fall and find rest, breathing my last into that air from which I draw my daily breath, and falling onto that earth which gave my father his seed, my mother her blood, my nurse her milk; the earth which for so many years has fed and watered me day by day; the earth which bears my tread and all the ways in which I abuse her.

Marcus Aurelius

Words of Wisdom | number 6: Telescope

Spotify playlists | The Cold Part

Up north here, this is the cold part of of the year, the dark part, the snowy part. The days are shorter, the nights are longer and life just seems to slow down, almost as if we’re going into hibernation. Whether you’re staying warm by the fire or shredding the slopes, here’s a playlist to jam to.

BCH

Spotify playlist: The Cold Part

↑(that’s a link; click it)

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Wanderlust | number 1: Mistake to Wait

“Someday.” That’s what I always told myself, as I booked flights to Colorado, Florida, California, or elsewhere for vacation. “Someday, when I have more money and more vacation time, I’ll travel overseas. Someday I’ll see other countries and experience other cultures. Not now though. But someday…” I said it throughout my 20’s. It was something I had wanted do my whole life, but was always able to find reasons put it off. And all the while, life continued on. I got older. 25 turned into 26, which turned into 27, then 28… Before I knew it, I was 30 years old and the only time I’d ever been out of my native country was on a Caribbean cruise when I was 17. And – apologies to any boating-enthusiasts reading this – that doesn’t count as traveling abroad. Life was flying by while I was waiting for the perfect time to start living it. So one day I decided to make “someday” today. Because there never will be a perfect time for anything, and the idea that there will be is just an illusion.

I set forward with this new idea, equal parts determined and excited to finally get a passport and put some stamps in it. After picking a destination and doing a brief bit of planning, I ran quickly ran into the first roadblock: I hadn’t the faintest clue of where to even begin. Where to stay? How to get around? What to do when I’m there? It was a little overwhelming. Then I remembered something a neighbor had told me about earlier that summer: Contiki. A travel group based out of Australia for young adults from all over the world. Said he had a damn good time, and that it ought to be right up my alley too. So, being a first time traveler, traveling alone, without a clue as to what I was doing, I decided to take the uncertainty out of it; let Contiki do all the planning so I can just enjoy my first overseas trip, stress-free. A few days later, I had myself a spot booked on the European Highlights trip. Two weeks straight through the heart Europe, eight countries in all: England, France, Monaco, Italy, Austria, Germany, The Netherlands and Belgium. (Side note: in the end, it turned out that we were in Monaco for a single evening, and merely passed through Austria and Belgium on the way to other destinations. Probably would have realized that had I read the itinerary a little more closely, but whatever.) As my departure date grew nearer, I had a hard time believing that I’d shortly be on the other side of the Atlantic Ocean, on another continent, finally doing something I’d been waiting my whole life to do. It didn’t feel real until I was literally on board that jumbo airliner, taking off for the trans-Atlantic flight. And when I finally landed, and stepped foot out into London… well, you know that feeling you get when you finally start taking charge of your own life and following your dreams? It’s intoxicating, right? And if you don’t know that feeling… then STOP reading about me living my life, and start LIVING yours!!!

Over the next two weeks, I had more fun than at any time I can remember. I got to see some of the most beautiful and historic cities on Earth…places that everyone’s heard of, but only exist in the imagination for most – like Venice and Amsterdam – finally became real to me. I learned about the history and cultures of these places, saw how the events that took place there decades, centuries or even millennia ago helped to shape our civilization and lay the foundations for the world as we know it. I was able to take pictures, from the grand to the mundane, which (hopefully) captured the spirit of these places. I got to see how the people here live their daily lives, and pick up on the little quirks that gave each city and country it’s charm and made it unique from everywhere else. But more importantly, I saw that in spite of all those differences, we’re all kind of the same, too. I made friends from all over the world, and relationships and memories that I’ll cherish for the rest of my life. In those two weeks we had traveling, sightseeing, living, growing – and yeah partying –  together, we found a new, multi-national family in each other. That’s one thing I was not expecting when I left for this trip, and the one thing – out of everything listed above – that you wouldn’t be able to find if you traveled alone, or exclusively with people you already knew. And it’s the thing that would keep me coming back to Contiki for more travel experiences – for a few more years at least…

Now that I’m back in my home country, back to reality, I’ve been thinking about how I’m a different man – a better one – than the guy who boarded that flight for London just a few weeks ago… Sure, the new friends I have (and couches to crash on) scattered across the globe are nice to have. But the cumulative experience has changed me on a deeper level, and that’s what I’m really curious to figure out. One thing I noticed about both the locals and my traveling companions was that, in spite of the little differences between us – the languages, the slang, the customs, the food, the drinks, etc. – we’re really not all that different after all, we all live very much the same way. At the end of the day, we all want the same things out of life: to have our basic needs taken care of, a sense of accomplishment and contribution… and past all of that, we just want to spend time enjoying ourselves and the company of friends and family. The little differences don’t define us; they’re what give flavor to life, and it’s a taste only experienced by those who travel. That diversity should be celebrated, not used as a means to divide us. So now, back in the States, I feel like my identity is much less wrapped up the country whose borders I just so happened to have been born within. I found I have just as much in common with Aussies, South Africans or the French as I do with other Americans. So in that sense, I feel more connected to the world at large. Foreign countries seem a little less alien… And the people within them seem a lot more human – not the simple stereotypes that people who’ve never traveled often imagine. So now that I’ve had time to ramble on about this, I think that’s been the biggest impact this experience has had on me: the realization that we’re all one people, all human beings sharing a human experience. And with that realization comes the recognition of the fallacy of dividing us all up based on our geographic location and national origin. We shouldn’t look at ourselves as Americans and Germans and Egyptians and Koreans… we are all one.

I’ve been back for a couple weeks now, and it’s taken me about this long to process everything I saw and everything I experienced on this trip – enough that I can at least articulate it. But what I learned will continue to seep into me, deeper and deeper, and I know that I’ll be forever changed. They say you’ll get bitten by the “travel bug” on your first overseas trip – well, annoying clichés aside, it’s true – I am itching to do it again (and not just because of the bed bugs). Hell, I think I might even be more excited for my next trip than I was for my first one, if that’s even possible. So I will continue to travel, continue to soak up these experiences, continue to expand my horizons and grow as a person. If traveling  abroad offers one thing you cannot get anywhere else, any other way, it’s a sense of connection to this world, and to all of humanity. And that’s a feeling I love. Fortunately, that’s something I’ll be able to do over and over again. But there’s one thing about this trip that truly was a “once in a lifetime” experience: sharing that “first time” with the Contiki family I got to know so well over those two weeks in Europe. And oddly enough, it’s those people I was traveling with – not those places I traveled to – that I’ll miss the most. Those days we spent together, strangers in strange lands, felt like a true paradise. And it’s a paradise I’ll have in my mind, and running through my veins, for the rest of my days.

BCH

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Self-mastery | number 3: Unlimited Power!

What is a strong person to you? Someone with big muscles, who can exert a lot of brute force and move heavy objects? Or, is it someone who remains defiant in the face of adversity, and perseveres against any and all odds? The former, while neat, is kind of like a party trick – it’s only useful in certain situations, beyond which it’s applications are pretty limited. Now the latter is not physical strength, but mental. That’s the type we all need to make it through this thing called life. And while physical strength can be exhausted, strength of the mind is infinite. Long after your body has given up on you – even after that little voice in your head starts telling you to quit – your inner strength will persist. You just need to know how to access it. And no, you don’t need to be a zen master or go through years of training to learn the secret… All it takes is willpower. It takes discipline. It’s simply the ability to compel yourself to do something that you don’t want to do, or not do something that you do want to do. It doesn’t matter what that thing is; it can be as trivial as doing another push-up after you’ve already done 100, or not opening up that bag of chips while you’re sitting on your couch… to something as momentous as trying again to get that business idea off the ground after you’ve failed a dozen times, or not giving in to despair when you’re going through a rough patch in life.

You see, your willpower – your ability to direct your mind and body to do whatever you want – is potentially endless. The thing is, you have to WANT it. Really want it, and commit yourself to that decision. Enough that your rational, higher mind has a firmer control over your being than do your momentary impulses. As humans, we have little control over our instincts and inclinations. And that’s okay; we’re still just animals, after all. But we do have control over our thoughts and actions. That is what makes us uniquely human. And when all else is stripped away, our minds, and the strength therein, will remain. So use the rational part of your being, and direct your body and mind to ignore the impulses that pop up and threaten to derail your intentions. To do that, we must be mindful of those impulses and lower-minded thoughts as they rise within us. Which means that paying attention to our minds and the processes occurring within them is the first step in gaining control over them, and should therefore ever be an underlying effort as we go about our day. Then, as we make conscious choices and attempt to act on them, we can become aware when that little voice inside all of our heads start urging us to take an alternate path, and quash it before it takes hold.

We often underestimate ourselves and what we’re capable of. We see others accomplish things we wish we could, but we doubt our ability to do the same. But what makes them different from us? It’s usually not the case that they were born gifted in ways we could never hope to equal – it’s that they have a fire inside that drives them, pushes them forward when things get tough, keeps them focused on their vision when it seems further away than ever. We all have that fire inside; it might be a tiny little flame in some, a raging inferno in others – but it’s there in all of us, and it can be cultivated. Simply train yourself to obey your higher mind rather than your lower impulses. We all have the power to do this; that higher mind, the rational part of your being, is a part of each and every one of us. The more you listen to it, the easier it is to hear. Do that, and the fire inside will grow… until it’s big enough to consume any obstacle in your path… big enough to forge you into a harder, more resolute version of yourself. And when that flame becomes an inferno, you will see that you’ve been transformed into that person you admire, the person who can overcome any hardship and accomplish things you never thought possible.

They say that life is just a series of choices we make. When you break it down, you’ll see that this is no different; the decision between quitting and carrying on is just a simple binary choice you make, deep in your subconscious. When that little voice in your head is telling you to just give up or give in, a deeper part of your mind either says “Yes, I will” or “No, I will not”. But that decision doesn’t have to be made deep in the subconscious; as a rational being, with your own autonomy, you have the power to override those thoughts and make the choice a conscious one. So when you look at it that way, the choice of whether to surrender, or to endure, is as easy as saying yes or no.

When it comes to strength, the kind you cultivate inside you is far more important than the window dressing of big muscles and toned bodies. It helps us confront challenges, deal with change, and persevere when the going gets tough. It can be a light that leads us through our darker days, when all we want to do is give up our dreams, give in to our base desires, or take the path of least resistance. And although this tenacious spirit can’t be gained in a gym or supplemented with protein shakes, it can be grown – by anyone, and the physical state of your body has nothing to do with it. What inner strength is, really, is mastery over the mind. And when you become the master of your own mind, you will gain control of your thoughts and actions – for as long as you want it. And if you choose never to relinquish that control, you will find that your inner strength truly is infinite. It’s a well that never runs dry; whenever you need more of it, just reach back in and refill your cup.

BCH

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Dig this | Father John Misty – Mr. Tillman

I love songs that tell a story. This one is simple: a conversation between a gracious hotel manager and an eccentric, possibly intoxicated, patron – but the dialogue reveals the bizarre state of this man’s mental space, and a life that is in the process of careening out of control. Or is he, perhaps, in the process of achieving nirvana? You decide.

Father John Misty – Mr. Tillman

↑(that’s a link; click it)

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Words of wisdom | number 5: Doctor My Eyes

Ignorance is bliss. Or is it? They say it all the time, and not without reason. There are so many problems in the world… an overwhelming number of problems, really, of enormous scope and magnitude. Poverty, homelessness and hunger. War. Oppression. Hatred and tribalism. Racism, sexism and all other forms of bigotry. Social and economic inequality. Environmental destruction. Entrenched and antidemocratic power structures… So perhaps it is better to remain blissfully unaware of all these problems, because whether we pay any attention to them or not, we all still face hardships and tragedies on a personal level. That should be enough for any one person to have to deal with, shouldn’t it? It’s a fair question, one couldn’t blame you for asking. But living a life untouched by these global problems – a life where you only have to worry about your personal struggles – is the mark of privilege; and I submit to you that privilege can be measured by the number of problems in the world for which you’re able to say, “That doesn’t really affect me.” So do we really want to rest easy in our privilege? For simply being unaware of something does mean that it will cease to exist. It doesn’t mean that it isn’t a problem, that people aren’t suffering anyway. So that brings us back to the original question: is ignorance really bliss after all?

As children, all the problems of the world have yet to penetrate our realities. We live inside happy little bubbles where the major conflicts are staying up past bedtime, or getting two pieces of candy instead of one. Some of us even have parents that go to great lengths to shelter us from anything that might threaten to pop those blissful bubbles. That’s some pretty basic parental wisdom, and it’s quite telling, isn’t it? If you want to remain happy and carefree, don’t concern yourself with the problems of the world. And as children, that’s fine; we’re not really in a position to do anything about it anyway. But as we grow older, it becomes harder and harder to remain unaware. As the years pile up, we begin seeing more and more things about the world, and about life, that we can’t unsee. The unfairness, the cruelties and the injustices all around us reveal themselves. And ever-finer shades of gray emerge from that which was once black and white, over the entropic march of time. Anyone with a shred of empathy will want to know why these problems exist, to understand them, so they can change them, make things better. But as we delve into fixing the world’s problems, we’ll sooner or later find that the solutions are out of reach, no matter how determined and unwilling to back down we are… we have to face our own relative powerlessness. So what then – when we become aware of problems that we, as individuals, can’t solve? How can an empathetic being find solace, contentment and even happiness in their own lives when there is so much suffering in the world? If we want peace of mind, would it perhaps have been better that we remained blind to the world, to still see it through childlike eyes? Is ignorance bliss?

It’s only natural, then, that we become disillusioned with the world around us, with life itself. We may even wonder if it’s not the world, but our perception of it, that’s wrong… “Please can’t all this just a bad dream?” we ask. “No,” life will answer, “and you will not wake to anything different.” This is the world as it truly is. This is humanity as they truly are. People do what they want, say what they want, go where they want… they take the path of least resistance to accomplish what they’re trying to do… they act out of self-interest and self-preservation, often with little to no regard for the feelings and wellbeing of others – sometimes even at their expense. Humans are, by nature, egocentric beings. We are each at the center of our own little worlds, the stars of our own lives. And it’s not wholly wrong to be that way – it’s a harsh world out there and we all have to look out for ourselves. If we didn’t, we wouldn’t be able to look out for anyone else either. And yet, this doesn’t seem like a totally adequate defense. It’s the 21st century. With all the ease and conveniences of modern living we have – and have had for decades – we surely have enough time, energy and resources to spare that we can direct some of our concern to people other than ourselves, and to some of the problems plaguing this world. But I think there’s a sense that, if we’re not at critical mass yet, then there’s still plenty of time left (for other people) to fix these problems, that a solution (crafted by others) will come along in due time. So that we can return to our own little worlds, worry about us and us alone, and forget all about the problems of the world. After all, ignorance is bliss, right?

Well, maybe that’s true; but I say that hardly matters when these problems should already have been solved long ago. I say that the only reason these problems haven’t been solved yet is because we’ve been waiting for others to do the work. I say that we CANNOT turn a blind eye to the people suffering in this world; we CANNOT pretend to be deaf to their cries of anguish. I say we CANNOT accept a life of blissful ignorance. We’ve lived that way for too long, but it’s not too late for us to change our ways. We need to indulge in our sense of empathy. Right now. It won’t be easy, and it’s far from the path of least resistance. To put sincere effort towards fixing something and see no immediate change coming from it will be discouraging. And to see the injustices and tragedies you’re fighting to end repeat themselves over and over again – you will become jaded. You will run out of tears to shed… But that doesn’t mean it isn’t worth it to keep your eyes open. Just because you can’t see the brilliant blue sky on a cloudy day doesn’t mean that it isn’t there. For there is beauty in this world, even in spite of the cruelty, unfairness and injustices – and we have the ability to recognize both. Let the beauty and bliss in our own lives inspire us to dedicate ourselves to preserving and enhancing the beauty and bliss in this world, for all of it’s inhabitants. And with each passing day and every choice, large or small, to be better, the darkness in this world will be beaten back by the light, and better world will emerge.

BCH

Jackson Browne – Doctor My Eyes

↑(that’s a link; click it)

Doctor, my eyes have seen the years
And the slow parade of fears without crying
Now I want to understand

I have done all that I could
To see the evil and the good without hiding
You must help me if you can

Doctor, my eyes
Tell me what is wrong
Was I unwise to leave them open for so long

‘Cause I have wandered through this world
And as each moment has unfurled
I’ve been waiting to awaken from these dreams

People go just where they will
I never noticed them until I got this feeling
That it’s later than it seems

Doctor, my eyes
Tell me what you see
I hear their cries
Just say if it’s too late for me

Doctor, my eyes
Cannot see the sky
Is this the prize
For having learned how not to cry

Songwriters: Jackson Browne

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Our world | number 3: Internet – the Ugly

What kind of things would you say if you had complete freedom to say anything you wanted and no one would ever know who you were? If you never had to look someone in the eye as they heard your words? Would you act much in the same way as you do when your words can be traced back to a name and a face? Or would you behave… differently? Would you let the shroud of anonymity shield you from the repercussions of acting on your darker desires? It’s a test of character, and the answers can be very revealing. It’s not a hypothetical thought experiment, either – you can take this test anytime you want. Just log on to the internet and visit a forum or comments section for any topic or article you’d like. Join the discussion. And then ask yourself: would I have said that if I was face to face with these people, if they all knew my name? You see, anonymity affords us the knowledge that we can’t be held accountable for the things we say or do. And when people know they can’t be held accountable is when people feel safe showing their true selves to the world. So in that way, the internet is a proving ground of sorts. I’ve already spoken about the internet in great length: about the Good it can do for us, about the Bad we must be wary of… well, here’s the final ingredient – the Ugly.

The internet is that aforementioned shroud that allows us to interact with each other completely anonymously. And it’s that anonymity that removes from the equation the factor of accountability that might otherwise act as a constraint in the way we choose to conduct ourselves. When people are able to hide behind a username they can feel safe in letting out all of the hateful, hurtful, vicious and vile things they keep bottled up while in pleasant company, with no consequences. Society, make no mistake, is moving in the right direction. As we become evermore civilized, abject cruelty becomes less and less acceptable. Those who demonstrate it are socially ostracized, and rightfully so. But that doesn’t mean that the sentiments, or the desire to act on them, are gone entirely – they are merely repressed. So when the freedom of anonymity is given to people with the “bully” mentality, people with blackness in their hearts, it’s like given them fresh oxygen after being suffocated. And they breath their hate out into the world. Sometimes they don’t even need to be truly anonymous to lash out; the distance between themselves and the target of their hate – provided by a computer screen and a keyboard – is all they need to feel safe in acting on their worst impulses. In today’s digital era, it’s startlingly prevalent. According to statistics from The i-SAFE Foundation, roughly half of adolescents and teenagers have been the targets of cyberbullies, and equal numbers have engaged in it themselves. And if you think cyberbullying is something limited to immature teenagers, think again. Adults – or shall we say, people who have reached adulthood – do it, too. Just in the past few months, I’ve seen news stories about a Star Wars actress removing herself from social media after months of harassment from basement-dwelling neckbeards, and the suicide of an adult film actress – also the result of cyberbullying. These peoples are cowards, as all bullies are – but even bigger cowards than schoolyard bullies; cowards who hide behind a computer and feel comfortable in spewing their hatred at someone whom they wouldn’t dare say such things to their face.

Another PSA: If you or someone you know is depressed and having suicidal thoughts, don’t suffer in silence – reach out to someone. You’re more important than you know.

Tangential to bullying is trolling. Trolling, for those fortunate enough to have not discovered this phenomenon in the past decade, is when someone says or does things to intentionally upset or sow discord within another person or group. It’s one of the most prevalent forms of antisocial behavior in the digital age. It’s the people who, as I mentioned in the last post, lie to people just to get a kick out of having someone believe something that isn’t true. It’s the people who go to an environmental rally with gas-guzzling pickup trucks outfitted with smokestacks billowing black smoke. The people who go into a forum dedicated to a particular topic and start posting messages and propaganda antithetical to the group’s purpose. The people who start arguments and then resort to personal put-downs and ad hominem attacks once they see that it’s more effective than their actual argument. People who send you a link to something you’d be interested in, only to have you end up watching the music video for some pop song from the 80’s. In short – it’s people who fuck with you just to piss you off. You see instances of this in the real world, but they are easy to spot – it’s the mask of online anonymity that makes them much harder to identify, and thus, that much more effective. You might be scratching your head and asking yourself, Why? What’s the point? Psychologists have outlined the motives that often drive people to take up trolling… and, well, it’s really not all that surprising: They crave attention, even if they’re only getting recognition for being an asshole. It can be an emotional release for people with antisocial tendencies. Some enjoy the power trip that comes with being able to disrupt people and control a situation. Sometimes there’s a desire to sabotage and undermine a person or group they dislike. And, of course, there’s always the simple aspect of immaturity. So how do you stop a troll? You can always try to troll them right back, beat them at their own game. But some trolls are actually smart, and that’s not always easy to do. No, there’s a much simpler way to shut down a troll, and it’s become a common phrase on message boards: DO NOT FEED THE TROLL!!! You know what trolls want – to upset you – so don’t give them that satisfaction. Don’t allow them to disrupt you. Don’t even respond. The more you do, the more opportunities you are giving them to get under you skin. And they feed off of that. So don’t feed them – don’t react, don’t engage, and they’ll soon starve for attention and move on. I like to imagine that, after failing to get a rise out of their target, they recognize what a complete waste of time it was and maybe, just maybe, wonder what the hell they’re doing with their lives… one can dream, right?

Now, you may have noticed that not all of these behaviors are limited to the online world. Sadly, it seems that, even as we become more civilized as a species, society is entering a period of heightened incivility in the ways we interact with each other. Bullies, trolls, and all other manner of people acting on their baser instincts, seem to be becoming more commonplace in the real world too. Well, I blame that on the internet, too. I think that, when people can hide behind a digital interface, they feel free to unleash the ugliest aspects of themselves out onto the web… the more people act horribly to each other online, the more socially acceptable those behaviors seem… and when incivility becomes a socially accepted norm, then people no longer need to wait until they’re safely anonymous to start treating others like shit. It spills out into our everyday lives, with the people we come face to face with. It’s a black, festering slime that covers all of us and drags us all down. Remember that hate-inducing ooze from Ghostbusters 2? That’s actually not too far off from the truth – just don’t expect to see dancing toasters or the Statue of Liberty taking a stroll though NYC.

So expanding in that idea… When I previously spoke of how the internet allows people to connect and communicate, I meant it as a good thing. But even that has a downside. With the ability to reach people in remote locations, fringe extremists who would otherwise have been isolated within their own disparate communities can now find other likeminded mouthbreathers, connect, and have a medium in which to grow their hateful ideologies and recruit more members. White supremacists, klansmen and neo-Nazis had long been ostracized for their views, afraid to express their beliefs publicly – as they damn well should have been. But now these dregs of society are, with the help of the internet (and a president who’s all too happy to throw them red meat in exchange for their votes), recognizing that they’re not as alone as they used to think, and growing emboldened to spew their vileness publicly, proudly. What was once in decline is now on the rise again. The internet provides a sense of virtual community to millions, and a platform for their message to reach millions more. This isn’t inherently bad – in fact, it’s a wonderful thing more often than not. But, just as there are people doing good in this world and trying to make a positive change, there are people working just as hard to do the opposite. And those evildoers are now equipped with a powerful new tool.

Yes, the internet has changed the world forever. And unless we see the utter collapse of civilization, there’s no going back – we have to find a to to live with it, for better for for worse. It’s potential we’ve only begun to scratch the surface of, but only time will whether it will ultimately be a blessing or a curse. It will propel our civilization forward, much in the same the the invention of the printing press did over half a millennium ago; millions, even billions of people will see their lives improve because of it. Yet at the same time, it will unleash the darker aspects of human nature like nothing else we’ve seen in our lifetimes. We’ve opened Pandora’s Box, and out of it has come a great deal of good, which we must embrace, but also bad, which we must be wary of, and ugliness, which we must reject. And it all begins with you.

BCH

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